LAst CAll

Day Late, Dollar Short

It took one of the world's largest stock houses how many months to figure this out after readers of Last Call were on to it last June?

Everybody Jump @ Getty Edit

vs.

Flashback to 6/27/04: Making the Pointer Sisters Proud

Confess!

Got a secret that's burning a hole in your conscience?  Carrying around that guilt like last season's handbag and just dying to disclose?  PostSecret's the blog for you.  Create a 4" x 6" postcard -- you might want to put a little artistic effort into it; if this is something you've taken the trouble to keep from the world, revealing it via anonymous postcard calls for some small amount of graphic fanfare, as the examples show -- and send it in to the good people at PostSecret.  Their lips may not be sealed, but no one will know it's really you.  Or will they?

PostSecret

Via TMN

Dear Crabby

Dear Crabby,

What happened to Vince Vaughn?  He looks like he's been run over by a truck.

Signed,

Swingin' at a Star

Dear Swingin',

You ain't just whistlin' Dixie about that truck -- and, if I can take a guess at what that truck may have read on its side, it was "Pink Elephant Liquors."  It's been four years since Vaughn was arrested outside a North Carolina bar for his part in a brawl during which Steve Buscemi was stabbed several times (proof that God has turned a deaf ear to all of us, Buscemi lived).  Between then and now, it appears have been more of the same for Ben Stiller's third banana, without the benefit of the occasional oxygen tent or a drying-out in the sun, which even Tara Reid has the sense to do -- even if she doesn't have the mental clarity not to spontaneously engage in a little lesbianoic cuddling with Nicole Richie in the process).

Crabby's advice to Vince?  Lay off the booze -- and pray Jon Favreau stays small enough to star in a "Swingers: 10 Years Later" sitcom in the not-too-distant future.

P.S.  Vince -- the plaid shirt is cool if you're, like, a 21-year-old web designer with the body of an ex-athlete who has found Christ in a 168-hour-a-week coke habit.  Otherwise, you just end up looking like the guy across the street who always used to weed-whack his lawn when the 13-year-old girls were lying out in their bikinis.

P.P.S. Owen -- your nose is a penis.

Think Funny

Boing Boing points us in the direction of this curious, little oddity: a Matt Groening brochure for Apple produced in the early '80s -- proof that Apple's always been the computer for the cool kids at school (or at least the stressed, clueless, schizoid, procrastinators, overwhelmed, unemployed, starving student, technoids among us).

Hostess House Sushi

The countdown to Twinkie's 75th B-day has begun.  Start rockin' alternative ways of serving them at Planet Twinkie, which offers a stunning idea for Twinkie Sushi:

Twinkie Sushi

The dried mango as faux pickled ginger is a small stroke of genius.

Via Pixelsurgeon

'night, Johnny

Johnny Carson Dead at 79

Get Happy!

There's plenty of reasons to feel down these days, but savoring the simple pleasures of life is one of the more satisfying ways of battling the urge to take up residence in Mopeyville:

Ah, Is This Not Happiness?

Based on a a piece of Chinese writing called Chin’s Thirty-Three Happy Moments. Chin Shengt’an was a 17th century playwright who found himself stranded with a friend in a temple for ten days because of a rainstorm. While secluded, the pair compiled a list of the truly happy moments in life. The wonderful thing about Chin’s Happy Moments is their lack of piety. Material pleasures are not rejected in favour of loftier ones.

Via MeFi

Mistakes? US? Never. No, never.

Bush Regime continues to deny making any mistakes in Iraq, even as they begin their inevitable plans to make war with Iran:

Cheney blames slow recovery on slowness of Iraqis to "take charge of their own affairs"

There's a special place in Hell for the spinmeisters who write this kind of bullsh*t for these people.  How about not having a viable plan to reconstruct the country before fecklessly rushing into war, you fat f*ck?  Make special note of the list of "trouble spots," too.  That's code for the list of countries we're going to invade next to impose our will on the rest of the world, otherwise known as the Project for the New American Century.

Is It Just Me...

...or is Nicole Kidman rocking a Kylie look awful hard in the teaser for Bewitched?  Which, btw, I'm irrationally enthusiastic about seeing, even though my gut tells me it's not going to be possible to live up to the anticipation of so many years and possible cast incarnations.  Anyone remember when Jerry Seinfeld was going to play Darren?  But with Amy Sedaris doing a cameo, perhaps as Alice Kravitz?  We should be so lucky -- lucky, lucky, lucky!

Slow Stop Dog